Thursday, August 28, 2008

Fancy Looking Chickens

Please tell me you remember Deep Thoughts.... By Jack Handy! I decided that I needed to share some random thoughts with my favorite blog readers, and it made me think of Jack Handy. (The elevator music is currently playing in my head) Please take a moment to ponder one of Jack's deeper thoughts before proceeding.

"If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EASY!"
(For more deep thoughts, you can go here.)

At any rate, here are some things that briefly passed in and out of the hall of greatness today (yes, that would be my brain):
  • There will never be a time when handing out crappy news gets easier. Period.
  • Eating "Live Active" products can hamper normal routines.
  • I love knitting the gusset when a pattern calls for it.
  • I would like to meet a man who would be willing to shower me with love and attention, while providing unlimited funds for my hobbies and allowing me to knit and spin to my heart's content. (Actually, I would really just like to be independently wealthy, and knit and spin to my heart's content - big girls can take care of themselves. Ahem.)
  • I would like to have fancy looking chickens. The only eggs I really eat are deviled eggs, so I could give them to Wendy Lee and she could make them all the time.
  • I could really go for a nice long cuddle. (Yes, I know I stated I'm a big girl, but cuddles are something you can't give to yourself.)
  • A wide open field with plenty of wildflowers would be nice for a back yard.
  • Ex Husband's birthday is the 30th, and if I had thought about it, I could have knit him a lovely object shaped like a turd. Just like him.
  • I'd rather be at the beach drinking a wine spritzer.
  • Fall weather would be nice, and my hair would stop frizzing up so much.
  • This post is seeming rather selfish.
Do you ever have one of those days where you would like to poke your eyes out with a very sharp object? I had one of those days today. Unfortunately, in order to see I must refrain from this method of bodily harm, so I just let my mind wander where ever it wanted to go instead, hence the random thoughts. It was great fun. I even used the Internet.

I saw this - you know, a fancy chicken:
And this - ok, so it's Mt. Rainier, but I that doesn't mean it can't be my back yard, right?

I will spare you from the remainder of my Internet surfing. Trust me, it only got worse, because I moved onto websites where they sell things after the whole back yard episode. I almost plunked down a whole lot of money on things I didn't need, like anti-frizz hair product (like I need more), 12 months worth of fresh flowers, a lovely carrier for deviled eggs, and a page-a-day Deep Thoughts Calendar. Oh! And I almost hired a cabana boy to serve wine spritzers.

Tomorrow will be better. It's got to be. It's going to be Friday, and that means no suck-fest for three days (suck-fest=work).

Happy Labor day fair readers!


tata said...

I love Jack Handey! Thanks for the link. :D

And, be easy on me - I can be a turd too and my birthday is Aug 31. Truth be told, I'd prolly like a knitted turd *snicker*

Daniele said...

Uh... you did hire the cabana boy, right? :)

She Knits Socks said...

Girl, you are hilarious! I love the Jack Handy random thoughts. I'd never heard of him before.

I'm with Daniele, hire that cabana boy. The tall, dark and handsome one. I'll be right over to visit.

Opal said...

Oh I adored Jack Handy! Those were the golden days of SNL. It's really gone downhill since.